Yo! I've Got a Question
by Janna and Jeremy Jones
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I just graduated from high school and am going to a Christian college in the fall. I have really great friends at home and I've started to be sad about leaving them and worried about getting to know new people. How can I keep from wasting my summer worrying?
It is totally natural to feel a mixture of emotions when you get ready to head off to college. The excitement is almost always dampened by a sadness of leaving the people you love. But, the good news is that you don't have to lose your old friends to make new ones. Sure, some of those friendships from high school may drift away after a while, but if you make an effort to maintain the close relationships through phone calls, e-mails and visits home, you can stay close even across the miles. Especially in the first couple months of college, a familiar voice of someone who knows and understands you will be a great encouragement.
But there is even more good news: you will most likely be amazed at how quickly and easily you make friends at school. Most people form the closest friendships of their lives during college, so be open to the new people you're about to meet. You will be living, working, playing, and studying with these people 24 hours a day and you may be surprised at how quickly you feel close to them. The first week or so may be awkward but the more you make an effort to get to know the people around you, the easier it will be to make the adjustment.
For now, enjoy every moment you have with your friends at home. Create wonderful memories that will make you smile even when you're apart. At the same time, be praying that God will bring new friendships into your life at college. If you have the name and phone number of your roommate or any other students from college, give them a call and get together if possible. Even having one or two familiar faces on campus will help! And above all, keep your BEST friend close-spend time each day with God, knowing that He will be with you no matter where you go.
I have a friend whose parents are separated. He feels like his mom gives him to his dad when she doesn't want him, and his dad gives him to his mom when he doesn't want him. He's always telling me how bad he feels. What should I do?
Since you can't do much to change your friend's family situation, the best thing you can do for your friend is to be there for him, pray for him and be willing to listen. Invite him to be part of your family as often as possible. Get your parents involved by telling them about the situation so they can provide some consistent adult love and support. Not only will their love and support help to fill what your friend isn't getting from his parents, but they can help you watch and make sure that dealing with all of this doesn't cause depression or anger that could cause your friend to harm himself or others.
You might also want to check with your church and other area churches to see if they offer support groups like Divorce Recovery Workshops that can help your friend to deal with his feelings. If you feel comfortable, you might suggest that he read some of the Psalms. Many of them are about dealing with the pain of life and praising God for the help He gives. Your friend might really identify and feel comforted by them. Unfortunately, although your friend didn't have any say in the separation, he has to deal with the consequences and learn to go on with life. He is blessed to have a friend like you!
I'm trying to save lots of money this summer so I won't have to work during the school year. Do I need to give a percentage of it to my church?
In the Old Testament, when the people of Israel lived under the law given by God, they were required to offer many different sacrifices as worship and to acknowledge that everything belonged to Him. Under God's law everyone was to set aside one tenth (or ten percent) of what they produced and this is where the idea of tithing 10 percent came from. In the New Testament, Jesus came and paid the price for our sin so that we are no longer required to sacrifice certain amounts of certain things to be forgiven.
However, before you start smiling all the way to the bank, let's see what Jesus said about giving. He rebuked the religious leaders who cared more about the one-tenth tradition than having a heart for God (Luke 11:42). In 2 Corinthians, Paul said that "each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly" (2 Corinthians 9:7). And Romans 12:1 tells us not just to offer our money, but to offer our bodies as living sacrifices.
So, while many still use the 10 percent as a minimum guideline for giving, it is clear that Christ wants much more. He is more concerned with our motives than a dollar amount. He wants not just your money, but your time, energy and heart. So, should you give some of the money you earn to your church? Yes. But, before you do, spend some time making sure that not only are you forking over the cash, but acknowledging that ALL we have is from God and is His, whether it's in the offering plate or not.
A friend who just became a Christian and I want to memorize some verses together over the summer but I don't know which ones we should start with. Can you give us a few suggestions?
Very cool idea! The verses below can give a good foundation to any Christian, new or old. We've listed twelve so you can learn one every week during the summer. Use any extra time to review the verses you've learned. Be patient and stick with it!
Romans 3:23-24
Ephesians 2:8-9
Romans 6:23
John 14:6
Romans 10:9-10
John 1:1-5
Psalm 23
2 Timothy 1:7
Isaiah 53:5-6
Colossians 3:15-17
Romans 12:1-2
Hebrews 13:5-6
No matter what we try at my small town church, we can’t get more kids to come. Every time I go to church I think about giving up on the youth group entirely. But that is what everyone else has done and I don’t want to give in. I feel like we’ve tried everything.
You are not alone! Many small churches struggle with the same issue. Whether there aren’t many kids in the area, or they are just attracted to the things a larger church can offer, small churches are often left fighting to keep the youth group going. If there was any easy answer, we’d be sure to give it—sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things already. Maybe you can also try partnering with other small churches in the area to pull the groups together more often.
But beyond that, there is another alternative that we challenge you to think about: maybe MORE isn’t BETTER. There are some things that a very small group of teens can do—such as in-depth Bible study and accountability—that big youth groups struggle with because of their size. In Matthew 18:20 Jesus says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” So, you see, it’s not just about big numbers! Try talking with your youth leader and other church leaders about spending more energy really focusing on the kids that are in the group. Once that core group is formed, try getting them to invite non-Christian kids from school, rather than trying to get other
Christian kids to come. Instead of focusing on numbers, try to focus on developing the quality of what happens within the group. It’s not time to give up, but maybe it is time to shift your perspective and head toward a new goal. Good luck!
More Q&A . . .
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